Accountability, Introspection & Diving Deeper
This week's Sage is written by my office magician, Mary. Last week, during our weekly meeting, toward the end of our usual agenda she opened up about the strangeness she felt during this season with a realization that she shared with me. Now, Mary has been working with me for almost two years now, and upon her inquisition it dawned on me how much of myself has rubbed off on her. Through the months she has become more open with her feelings and thoughts and has developed a more autonomous approach to our work and, as she expressed, her personal life. It's a beautiful thing to see such growth in a young person, and I'm certain you have Marys in your life that you can relate this to.
Dear reader, Mary here. Before I share my realization with you, I'd like to direct my utmost gratitude to Andy for giving me this wonderful platform to share my thoughts and for being my mentor and friend.
It had been a few weeks where I had felt strange, almost as though I wasn't truly myself. Oftentimes, I'd catch myself detached from the present, unable to fully and freely connect to my surroundings. It was weird because, simultaneously, I was also very emotional, introspective and discontent (even when life was good and I felt like I had no reason to be unhappy). Inside was a bubbling brook of emotions that I couldn't grasp. It felt like water slipping through my fingers – it was frustrating and for the first week or two I didn't really know how to deal with myself.
The first weekend of September I read Lena's astrological forecast. It had talked about a planetary switching and that's when it all clicked. We had entered into another Mercury retrograde, this time in Libra – the deification of practicality and rational thought. Everything started to make sense. My introspection, withdrawal from my true self, overall moodiness... all this was brought to attention and magnified by the retrograde. Maybe some of you don't believe in this stuff, but to me the science is simple: We are all made up of energy and when planets realign, so do we, just like how the ocean tides are controlled by the moon's gravitational pull.
So, I did what any rational person would do, I stopped and let the discovery sink in. After getting my bearings back, I slowly untied this giant knot of strange emotions and, don't get me wrong, it was difficult and it took a week or so to sort myself out. During the process I realized two important things: 1) You have to be easy and kind to yourself, and 2) working on yourself, being rational in thought while untying these not-so-pretty emotions, is not a straight upward line. It's the squiggliest line you'll ever encounter. That's how complex we are, and this is why it's so important that we are kind and patient to ourselves as we go along this process, even if you don't like what you discover along the way.
Finally, after another week, I began to look further into this so-called "Mercury retrograde". What's all the fuss about? It was surprising to say the least, most of the things you'll find on social media carry a general theme toward this particular planetary event. Allow me to share some of them with you:
Perhaps it's naivety, or my first season fully acknowledging this terrestrial phenomenon (you can say that I'm a beginner in retrograde participation), but what's stranger than the emotions I had felt then was what I'd seen on media. Putting blame on a natural occurrence as opposed to taking full accountability for one's actions does not sit right with me. From my meager understanding, the retrograde puts things into perspective and amplifies certain aspects of it. It's completely up to you how you use it to your advantage, or disadvantage for that matter. If it's the latter, there is no one else to blame but yourself. I've come to realize that the retrograde brought my person into light, including the parts which I do not like – the ugly parts. It's your job to come to terms with who you are through all the phases and seasons of life.
Instead of stereotypically cowering back waiting for the retrograde to pass, use it to your advantage to understand yourself on a deeper, more enlightened level. There is no need to figure out which parts of you you need to work on, the planetary shift already did it on your behalf. This is a wonderful time to purge, to enhance your strengths and turn your weaknesses into allies. While everyone else is staying still, you are advancing toward a more real, truer version of yourself, using the season to your advantage, finding strength in your weakness, you have used the retrograde as a catalyst to your evolution.
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